As many of you may know, many people celebrated NFP Awareness Week recently.  There were so many great articles floating around the blogosphere, and I wanted to share a little bit about the many ways NFP has blessed our marriage.

Going into our marriage, there was never a question as to whether or not we would use NFP.  We knew all of the negative health effects of birth control, like it being a carcinogen, an abortifacient, and its ability to decrease libido and contribute to reproductive issues.  We also knew that less than 4% of couples who use NFP divorce and realized that it would be ludicrous to stand up on our wedding day, pledge to give ourselves completely to each other, and then hold back our total gift of self.  “I give you all…except this…”

In the eight years that we have been married, we have been amazed at the ways NFP has enhanced our marriage. Here are a few.

1. For starters, we have to communicate.  While I am obviously the one who reads my body’s signs to figure out if I am fertile or not, my husband is the one who charts them, and then we together, through prayer and discernment, decide if it would be prudent to have another child that month or not.  If we have been arguing or disagreeing about something throughout the day, it is generally resolved by the end of the night, as it’s very difficult to discuss something so personal with someone to whom you’re not speaking.

2. I also love that I am never used as something for pleasure, but rather loved and cherished as someone. During the few days a month that I am fertile, we are “forced” to find other ways to express our love if we are trying to postpone a pregnancy.  This also keeps the times when we are able to physically come together exciting.

3. One of the most surprising benefits of NFP has been helping my husband learn how my general mental/emotional state is affected by my cycle, which April so beautifully explained here.

4. It has helped me improve my health. While my body is generally very “normal,” I do tend to be deficient in a few vitamins and progesterone, which my body doesn’t produce enough of on its own in the beginnings of a pregnancy.  Because of NFP, my doctor was able to look at my chart and announce, “Oh, you’re deficient in x,y, and z, and we can give you vitamins a, b, and c to fix it.”  NFP allows doctors to fix health problems, not just put a band-aid on them.

5. Most of all, I love that NFP allows my husband and I to never ever be closed off completely to the gift of a child. We don’t know where we will be in a month, in a year, or especially in five years.  While most of our kids have been conceived after a gentle softening and opening of our hearts, one was a very dramatic shift of “No, we absolutely cannot have another child this month,” to “Yes, we are called to have another child.”  It is incredible how NFP allows your hearts to grow together.  I always cringe inside when I hear people announce that their family is “complete” and that they are “done” because quite honestly, no one can predict the future.  While at the time our family may “feel” complete, this may not be the case in a few years.  NFP allows us to space kids without permanently closing off the possibility of more.  As my wise physician said, “You’ll always wish you had more.  Even if you have eight, you’ll wish you had nine.”  And I have heard this from so many people, which is good to remember on the days when I’ve cleaned up three different disasters before breakfast.

Though this is by no means an exhaustive list, and of course NFP comes with its challenges, these are a few reasons why NFP has enriched my life.